You can actually break your penis. Well, if you're, like, a dude.
Jimmy Kimmel was joking about it after there was something about this on Grey's Anatomy. So I looked it up and found all kinds of info, including this:
No. 4: You Can Break Your Penis
There is no "penis bone," but you can break your penis all the same. It's called penile fracture, and it's not a subtle injury. When it happens, there's "an audible pop or snap," Montague says. Then the penis turns black and blue. And there's terrible pain.
Penile fracture is rare, and it typically happens to younger men because their erections tend to be quite rigid.
Here's how to avoid penile fracture: don't use your penis too roughly. A common way that penile fracture happens, Montague says, is when a man is thrusting too hard and fast during sex, and slams into his partner's pubic bone. Also, a woman who moves wildly while on top of a man during sex can break a man's penis.
Peyronie's syndrome is a related condition that tends to show up more in older men, Montague says. An older man's erection may not be as rigid, but still is hard enough for sex. Over time, if the penis bends too much a certain way during sex, small tears in the tissue can form scars, and the accumulated scar tissue gives the penis an abnormally curved shape.
Not all penis curvature is a problem, however. "There is a lot of variability in what normal is," Cummings says.
And then there was this site where people ask this Alice woman questions:
I especially liked this part:
Again, broken penises are really hard to come by, so try not to let stories about this highly unlikely occurrence stand in the way of the happiness that your erect penis might bring to you and others.
She makes it sound like a stiffy can bring peace and joy to the world, doesn't she?
On a (not so) serious note, my mom was friends with a nurse and her friend was telling her about the craziest things she'd witnessed in her profession... and she was once working when a man and woman were brought into the ER on a gurney... together.
Yup. The woman's pelvic bone or something slipped and caught his penis. Could you imagine making that 911 call? "Help, I've screwed and I can't get up!!!" I don't think I could go through with it. I'd just be like, "Get comfortable, dude, because we're gonna lay here until we die."