Sunday, October 10, 2010

First Poem In 5 Years...

When my dad died in 2005 I wanted to write a poem expressing what I felt. The right words never came. All my words dried up. I couldn't write a poem for anything, and turned to writing stories, living through characters because I couldn't find words to express what I myself was going through. I closed up, lost the ability to let it all out.

Well... I guess there's a good side to getting hurt. I got my words back. *sigh* It actually reads like a song to me. Shame I can't sing well...


I never thought you’d make me cry

Never thought you’d gut me this way

A fool such as I

I once knew better

I built a wall , a fortress no one could conquer

I knew what it was to be hurt and wasn’t revisiting that place again

You came calling

Weakened me with words I wanted to hear

A smile that seized my heart

Laughter that wrapped around my soul

Slowly, a brick unwedged

They all fell down

One by one, then faster, faster, as you stayed.

I fell down

Fell right on my sword

Dropped it and left myself vulnerable

Wide open for you

A fool such as I

Should have known better

Thought I’d learned my lesson before

There’s always one who loves and one who is loved

Swore I’d never again be the one to give it all away and get nothing in return

A fool such as I

Did what I knew better than to do

Allowed myself to believe in you

Believe you wanted me too

Believed I was good enough for you

The bricks all fell down

My wall crumbled and you walked right in

Reached right inside…

Took what was left of my heart and left my guts on the floor

Over before it began

Didn’t even have a chance

Just the promise of happiness out of reach

Promised to me but I never got to touch

A fool such as I

I should have known better than to believe

A fool such as I

Really should know better

Yet I still wait for you

Still hope for… you.

copyright 2010 Crystal-Rain Love

1 comment:

Christle Gray said...

Oh, Rain. You made me cry. Again.

When my Gram died in 2005, I was shattered. However, I had this immense need to get the experience down on paper. A few days after it all, I sat and wrote an essay, story, poem - I don't know what the hell to call it. I've never let anyone read it, either. Sometimes, writing something down is the only way we can work through something. It can be easier to see the words on paper than to speak them.

Thanks for sharing this with us.