Monday, November 29, 2010

Church Typos

Got this funny email from my buddy, Reegie, and thought I'd share:


The following have all appeared in church magazines so let us thank God

for church ladies with typewriters...


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Next weekend's "Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby" includes all meals.
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Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water'
Sunday evening sermon: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things

not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious

pleasure to the congregation .
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends

a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early

and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members

and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will

be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Pot luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the

basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.

Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their

electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church hall on

Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use

large double door at the side entrance

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