It goes without saying that kids come off with the craziest things. Mine are a constant source of amusement. Just a few gems:
We had just entered Olive Garden for the first time.
Son: Isn't this the place where the commercial says they treat you like family?
Son: Oh boy. This is gonna be rough.
Son: We had to write a story about a real life hero so I wrote about the time I ran out into the street and you ran after me even though you were pregnant, and saved me from getting hit by a van, so you are my hero.
Me: Awww, really?
Son: Yup, but I also added how you spanked me all the way back to the house because I ran out in the street, so I said you were also a villian. The teacher read it in class.
Oldest Daughter: I don't think dinosaurs ever really existed. I think the CIA made them up to discourage time travel.
So... what gems have your kids come up with?